i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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