Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
