How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
