Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
