Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
