I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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