Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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