I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
