I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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