I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
