they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Soap is not a condiment
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You have to summon your inner elephant
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
