Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
