shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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