I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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