I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If that was your dad, he is hot
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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