He is like the real live version of the state fair..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
being pregnant is like rehab
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
