brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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