we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
