we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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