what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
