I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
