So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
