Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
