thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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