Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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