I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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