he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
