long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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