Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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