i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
