I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
