its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
