i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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