It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
