And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
