Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
