i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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