Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think your dad took our porno
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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