I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
