You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
