Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
