Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
