I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
