I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
