The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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