Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
