...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
