We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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