i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
