I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
